“How to Write a Perfect Resume” – according LinkedIn experts

You can’t.

Absorb that idea. Know that you are not the right fit for every job or team and that there is no perfect resume for any of them. Now, read on to see why you can’t build the perfect resume…

Here’s a “How to Write a Perfect Resume” according to my LinkedIn feed:

• Pay for a specialized format
• Don’t paid for formatting, it’s wasteful
• Recruiters are lazy, they should know whether or not to move you forward in 5 seconds
• Recruiters need all the information they can get
• FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NO LONGER THAN A PAGE!!!
• Make sure you leave out nothing
• You don’t need details for jobs over 5 years ago
• Have outlines for every job
• Bullet points only!! No paragraphs
• Add short Summaries to each role
• Two pages is fine, but no more!
• Resume length doesn’t matter, just cover everything
• You need more stats
• Cut your education
• Make sure you have your education on there
• No colors! Keep it simple
• USE ALL THE COLORS
• No Times New Roman, it’s out of date
• No fancy fonts
• Have a summary
• DON’T add a summary.
• Hire a professional resume writer!
• You’re an idiot who wastes money if you hire a resume writer
• Two bullet points for each job, no more
• List all your major accomplishments
• DON’T FORGET: ONLY 1 PAGE!!!
• Personalized resume for every role you apply to!
• One resume that highlights your career
• Your points are too general, be specific
• You’re too tailored to proprietary features, skills won’t transfer
• List all your technologies and skills
• No one wants to read 20 skills- remove them
• Make sure you have added all your skills no matter how big or small
• Shorten it
• Lengthen it
• Make sure it has a singing and dancing robot that welcomes you when someone opens the PDF.
• One page or die!!!!!

And thats it, Folks! Just apply all these tips to your resume and you’ll land your dream job! Simple as that! Good luck!
/sarcasm

Over the years in the job market, I’ve noticed that there are certain recommendations from recruiters (and other experts looking to help people land new roles) that seem to be in direct conflict with one another. This can create confusion and cognitive dissonance for job seekers who are trying to make sense of all the different advice out there. No doubt I’m greatly understating this given the list above…

For example, some experts recommend paying for a specialized format, while others say that paying for formatting is wasteful. Similarly, some suggest that recruiters are lazy and need all the information they can get in the first 5 seconds, while others argue that details are important and nothing should be left out. And while one person insists that a resume should never be longer than a page, another recommends two pages to cover everything. Others continue that length is irrelevant and add as much detail as you can.

The advice continues to contradict itself as you read on. Some recommend bullet points only, while others suggest adding short summaries to each role. One person insists on a personalized resume for each job you apply to, while another recommends one resume that highlights your entire career. Some suggest that you need more stats, while others say that you don’t need to include details for jobs over 5 years ago.

It’s clear that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to resume writing. As a job seeker, it’s important to take all of this advice with a grain of salt and consider what will work best for you, your situation, and your goals. Ultimately, the goal is to catch the recruiter’s attention, highlight your qualifications, and land the interview.

So, don’t get bogged down in the conflicting recommendations. In my experience a well-written, targeted, and concise resume is always the best approach. Inserting value statements instead of activities wherever possible is also a key to resume success.

That being said, it’s important to stay up-to-date on the latest trends and best practices for your industry, region, and culture in resume writing. Keep in mind that what worked for someone else may not work for you, and that’s okay. Experiment with different formats, styles, and lengths until you find what works best for you.

Lastly, remember that your resume isn’t just going to select you into or out of a role opportunity, it is also your way of selecting the right role and hiring manager as well… do you really want to work for someone who is intimidated by your word choice? Your well-written resume helps you avoid wasting your time interviewing for a wrong fit.

But absolutely don’t forget the dancing robot when they open the PDF, thats the only must-have…

I hope this helps you navigate the confusing world of resume writing and gain some perspective on what is really important to you. Good luck with your job search!