A dear friend recently blogged about his experience years ago dealing with a situation in which the ‘problem’ was an “is it them or is it me” kind of scenario. He mused on the fact that in the face of everyone pointing to him as the problem, it really wasn’t him, that in fact, the problem really WAS with everyone else. It’s a hard place to be, but luckily he came out of the situation well and can look back if even with a hint of smugness and know he was indeed in the right.
But, like my friend, when you’re deep in the thick of it all, it isn’t quite as easy to see the truth. When we, as individuals are in the middle of situations that are degrading at a rate forcing action, we don’t have the luxury of detached observation that we are afforded with time and experience behind us. In these cases, when we are in the middle of a situation, it is often hard if not impossible to see our own truths for what they are and guide us to the right choice.
I’ve recently been wrestling with this same feeling, the “is it me or is it them” sense when it comes to a lot of socio-political issues. I have an odd dichotomy of emotion where my confidence in truth is shaken, while simultaneously being reinforced and strengthened. I wonder if I am really as smart and progressive as I think I am, or if I really did miss the memo and am off in lala-land with the other nut jobs who think similarly to me? When you’re in the thick of a cultural shift, conviction to your ideals is essential albeit difficult for fear that in some small way you may be wrong. After all, the crazy people are convinced of their certainty, and totally unaware of how crazy their ideas really may be.
When people I respect, consider friends, and look up to hold views in contrast to my own, I wonder how otherwise very intelligent people don’t see the world as I do. How can they not see the same truths as I? Surely they have more experience, deeper knowledge, and greater intellect than me, so how can some of their beliefs be so out of step with my own as to seem almost backwards? It is in times like this I begin to reflect on the “is it me, or is it really them? Are so many of them really that wrong, or are my own ideas the problem here?” questions that shake my convictions just enough to cause doubt and deeper contemplation.
I guess it all just means I am still a work in progress with no real answers yet…