It is an odd, odd feeling….

For those of you who don’t know: I’m adopted, and have known as much since I can remember.

I think I found my mom. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before. I knew enough information to run the appropriate searches, I just never put two and two together.

I know her name. I know she lived in Orange when I was born. I know she was around 15-16 when she had me. I know she was in the area in 1975 for the paternity case brought by my birth father. I even have the records from that case.

So I extrapolated some information and did a few searches. It is possible she had married since 1975, so I knew searching on her maiden name (the only name I have to go by) would result in a few misses and only luke warm leads, since a Google search will bring back anyone with the name regardless of if it is a married or maiden name.

That is, until I realized that there ARE sites out there which would discern between married and maiden names. Especially if I have a rough range of dates for when she was in school. Which I do. So I logged on to to begin my search.

I figured she would probably have been attending Orange High School somewhere between 1973 and 1975. So I surfed through the list, and what do you know, there she was… (You need a classmates profile to see this link, sorry.)

So what do I do now… I search Google for any listing of her name in the Colorado area. Nothing. I try a different search, and I get two hits. But this still isn’t anything more than warm since there are a number of people with her name (name removed for privacy) in Colorado due to marriage. Another Alumni site showed me that.

So now I get to decide if it is worth $15 to me to try and follow this lead and see if it pans out through

I am unsure on a number of fronts, though. The largest being that I am simply unsure if I even REALLY want to contact her, or if I should just leave well enough alone. I’d hate to cause any pain on either of our parts.

I know my birth father and his side of the family are keen to be in contact with me. But I am entirely in the dark about my birth mother.

There is a much larger story here, that one day will be down in print. Suffice to say for now, it is an odd, odd feeling knowing that I actually COULD be close to contacting my birth mom if I was so inclined. Of course the possibility still looms that my research has only provided me with a happy coincidence.

3 thoughts on “It is an odd, odd feeling….

  1. I think I’d carry on looking. But I don’t blame you for being nervous. I’d also say that I’m impressed that you are thinking of her feelings as well as your own. (hug)

    If you find her and she isn’t keen to know you, I’d be very surprised…I think she’d like to know that you are safe. Having said that, if she isn’t keen, just remember that it doesn’t make you less of a person.

    Good luck.

    1. wow

      Scarlet. Thank you.

      I didn’t even realize you read my journal. Though you say you read -all- of your “friends” posts, I never really believed it.

      I will, of course, take your advice to heart through this life. Regardless of my choice, please know I do appreciate your insight.

      1. Re: wow

        I do try. I spend FAR too much time on LJ! I guess I don’t get to comment as much as I’d like to though, I tend to have to scroll through spotting things that I can’t leave unanswered. 🙂

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