A friend of mine tweeted earlier today about a conversation she had regarding the concept of love, and how it is being a bit twisted by the Twilight novels… specifically she’d noted that a friend intimated that “it’s really unselfish love, he’s controlling because he’s concerned for her”. This not only disturbed her, but me as well. She summed up her frustration as: “So, a guy treats girlfriend like a child, or a possession, & young girls are reading this and thinking it’s romance?!?!”
Now, tell me; how as a human being is this ever an appropriate lesson or example to be teaching to -any- person regardless of age, race, orientation, or gender? *
While I realize that my personal views may not always be 100% correct, or right for everyone, but shouldn’t we be teaching and exemplifying good and healthy relationships? When the divorce rate in the US is so high, and domestic abuse is a common theme in our judicial system (for the minority of cases which are actually reported…) HOW, I ask you, can we condone books and movies which romanticize dangerous relationships? If the lessons provided in these media shine above all else, how can we ever change the culture to nurture healthy successful relationships? How can we teach and ensure the lessons are heard: that we all deserve to be treated as humans, each one of us worthy of love, and not as possessions to be controlled and manipulated for others’ selfish desires? Does this all really just boil down to more responsible marketing? Or is there more to it?
Aside from any sort of government control (which I will state for the record I am very opposed to), are we destined to simply play Sisyphus and continue pushing this boulder up the hill, only for it to roll back down upon us time and time again? Or is it indeed possible to make headway with culture change and see some success in building solid healthy relationships?
How can we change culture when healthy living is drama free and uninteresting to society’s school of mass-media? I am hopeful that there may be some good discussion in the comments to this post soon, as I am honestly stumped as to how we can effect any change against such popular items which simply reinforce the wrong message… Of course I am also open to discussion which disagrees with me, as I crave that other point of view to help convince me or further solidify my own position.
More importantly, how to we quell that which we find truly wrong, but still allow for revolutionary ideas and change to still mete its way through the culture and effect more change to better us all? Can we really drive what we believe is right and proper and see it take hold without resorting to tactics of controlling opponents’ right to disseminate their opinions?
Alas, the most important question of all…. can I HAVE any more question marks in this post??? (apparently the answer is yes!)
*It should be noted here that I am all for any kind of relationship that is healthy, regardless of what that actually entails. So long as it involves adults who act in a consensual and informed manner, I can bear no judgment. A relationship based on control and misinformation is not healthy, as at least one party involved is likely unaware of any other choices available.